Tag Archive | Cirrhosis

Another “eye-cation” at “The Thornton Hotel”…

Well Hello My Pretties, and your big dogs too….

I had my Left Eye Orbital Decompression on the 7th of February. As is always, a pleasure.

My Orbital Decompression with Drs. Bobby Korn and Audrey Ko went as smooth as ever! I did wake up with some sort of gloved turban situation, but I was thankful for being safe and alive and finally having my left eye look somewhat like my right, which has recovered beautifully.

I’m not sure of the next steps, as I will be seeing Dr. Korn again in about 3 weeks, but it is already looking beautiful.

Couldn’t have more amazingly supporting doctors and nurses! All of them were there for me beyond the job. Thankful is not enough!

LOok at that turban situation I have going there!?! I woke up and looked in a mirror and was like, “WTF?” I swear it was attached to my eye.. That glove… WHAT IS THAT.

Anyhoo, so without further ado, here I am in all my facial glory… (Comments are necessary, please!!!!)

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1 Year. Humbled.

(As spoken at today’s meeting. March 15, 2016 – Noon.

The Huddle on Goldfinch, San Diego, CA)

  • Thank you Anna… There is no one better to have done this today. Your guidance has shaped me. Any time I had questions, needed a reading, needed advice… You are always there. You are one of the most kindest, gentle and extraordinary people I am honored to call my “person”.
  • Mom, Sitsi Angela and Parino Joe… I just can’t make amends enough..
  • Mitch, you saved my life. #BestPrivateNurseEVER!!!
  • My family. You are #Everything!

It’s not as rare anymore, being rather speechless, but I really, honestly, have nothing to say…

Except, I will say this, Humbly. To everyone here at The Huddle and those not able to be at this meeting..

Your support and love, all of the things I have done this past year. I didn’t know I needed all that support until I truly realized I needed it. If you call upon, the answers will make themselves known.

It’s not just my sobriety.

All of you have helped me accept my new journey, my life diagnosis. You have taught me how to not avoid. How to define avoidance and what it means to have acceptance and freedom from avoidance. And friendship. True, real, friendships. New and  old.

And when I have or have tried, you helped me change that defect. You all hold me accountable. I have learned to replace the negative with positivity.

I am forever grateful and truly humbled. From then, now and the future. God Bless you all, I love you.

With deep humility in my heart and soul,

Amy

P. S., See, I told you Dr. Michel Mendler, Dr. Alexander Kuo, Dr. Sathya Pokala, Dr. Irine Vodkin, Dr. Yuko Kono, Dr. Albert Ding, Dr. Joshua Rubin, Dr. Sheri Rosen, and especially my Psychiatrist, Dr. Kurtis Linderman (feel very sorry and please pray for this kind man for listening to my malaise) and all the many nurses (especially you, Joanie Salotti – knock knock… I’m talking ’bout you Joanie… We have some pickle to eat!!) and support staff at Grossmont and my beloved UCSD Hepatology and Liver Transplant Departments. I did it and will continue to do so! #LifeChange #NeverStopWorking

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My Georgie the Tortie Can Mangia!

Check him out, chomping his food…

I Speak! I Speak!

Dear incredibly, wonderful and amazing family, friends and friendly readers:

I shared today. Not just your usual average Amy hilarity. Today was a beautiful day and a perfect share topic… “1st Drink Concept”.

My “1st Drink Concept” is super easy. I drink. I die. So quite frankly, it’s easy for me.

Don’t get me wrong. I struggle. I struggle. Every. Gosh. Darned. Day.

Insert struggle here ______:

  • My unnatural, yet incessant, marriage with ALL THINGS PICKLES!!! (Can’t have them due to high sodium).. I sometimes can be found in my kitchen looking lovelorn and longingly at my huge jar of Jewish Deli Pickles… Yes, the big big ones!

  

  • My many #EndStageLiverFailure and #Cirrhosis #AmyAilmentOfTheDay
  • PAIN. Every day. I can’t take Ibuprofen products. #Screwed #TylenolIsntForEverything.
  • And so much more… But it’s too late and I’m too tired to sit and go through my very long list of ailments… Not to mention….

IM SICK OF MYSELF! #INeedAnAmyFreeDay!!

It’s incredibly simple. And incredibly simple to do, if I follow the program and the steps. It’s incredibly easy. If you don’t want to die.

If you want to die… Go ahead. Drink or drug again. But that won’t be me. I certainly hope it won’t be you either.

It’s really quite simple. But equally hard if you make it hard. The program is simple if followed and you believe in the program and your higher power!

I’ll post more in a blog tomorrow. Including my talking notes from today….

Because. #Encephalitis.

With love always… Bygones,

Amy

UPDATED!!!!! My TIPS Video/AA Birthday & I’m stuck on the 10th step!

So I had my appointment with #TheCardioGod Dr. Hamed Aryafar today. The heavens opened up when he walked in the room.. (You will see this when viewing the video I will add in this place when it finishes uploading…)

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It was, as usual, extremely informative and life-altering! I was told about what to expect, whether I can still drive, among other things. All in all, a positive result.

 

I then went to #TheHuddle to my home group (#AA) and lead today’s meeting. I haven’t been able to have this grateful task in a while due to me usually having to leave a bit early due to a doctors appointment and/or liver transplant support group. For this day, I am honored and humbled. I spoke of matters of the heart and understanding in the program. By matters of the heart, I don’t mean love and men or women, etc., I meant love and understand of all things while working the program. 

Ironically, this leads me to the 10th Step, with which I have found myself stuck on… 

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Chapter Ten, page 92, states:

  • Such a radical change in our outlook will take time, maybe a lot of time. Not many people can truthfully assert that they love everybody. Most of us must admit that we have loved but a few; that we have been quite indifferent to the many so long as none of them gave us trouble; and as for the remainder—well, we have really disliked or hated them.
  • Although these attitudes are common enough, we A.A.’s nd we need something much better in order to keep our balance.
  • We can’t stand it if we hate deeply. The idea that we can be possessively loving of a few, can ignore the many, and can continue to fear or hate anybody, has to be abandoned, if only a little at a time.
  • We can try to stop making unreasonable demands upon those we love. We can show kindness where we had shown none. With those we dislike we can begin to practice justice and courtesy, perhaps going out of our way to understand and help them. Whenever we fail any of these people, we can promptly admit it—to ourselves always, and to them also, when the admission would be helpful.
  • Courtesy, kindness, justice, and love are the keynotes by which we may come into harmony with practically anybody. When in doubt we can always pause, saying, “Not my will, but Thine, be done.” And we can often ask ourselves, “Am I doing to others as I would have them do to me—today?”

And continues, “Understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our entire lifetime. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these pop up in our lives, we ask God to immediately remove them. We discuss them with our Sponsor or Friend in AA and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code.”

So when one of my character defects appears during the day, I don’t have to take action based on that defect. I can begin to practice the 10th Step. And if I do act out on a defect, then Step 10 also gives me the tools to straighten out any harm I might have caused. Once we’ve gone through the process of spotting the defect, asking God to remove it, discussing the problem with someone if necessary, and making amends if we’ve caused a harm the book tells me now to turn my thoughts towards someone that I can be helpful towards. After all, the book does say:

“Love and tolerance of others is our code.”

This takes lots of practice but with God’s help and guidance, it can be done if we work at it. #WorkWorkWork

So, today was pretty incredible. I arrived to my meeting, early, and sat with Brock and Anna and caught up on their lives. We also discussed the cake I’ll be ordering from Costco for my 1 year birthday! Because, who doesn’t love #CostcoCake? Please consider attending on March 15th at noon at The Huddle on Goldfinch, if not for the camaraderie and fellowship, but hello…. CAKE!!

Quick #Assholio update… Status: NIL… #CUT

So I’ve been doing a lot of Big Book reading lately, and have begun to realize that there are new flaws I must work on in my life going into my 2nd year of #sobriety:

  • Transformation
  • Tolerance
  • Feeling “just ordinary” or “unheard” and the need to also be too vocal

Some of these new things, ok, all of them, were rather blatantly unseen by myself – of myself.

You see, we all have flaws. But it is how you choose to handle and deal with them is what makes the difference.

Anna brought up #Transformation with me due to all the changes I have made in my health, life and love. This will be next on my agenda to dig deeper into. I believe that for transformation, I must have #tolerance and #respect for others thoughts and feelings as well as keeping abreast of my own, equally.

So wow, yeah, that was windy! So, I must sign off and get that video uploaded.. Therefore…

#Bygones,

Amy aka #MotorMouth 

 

Another Hole I Must Dig Out Of..

Well, after a stint at the hospital and numerous tests, I’m newly diagnosed with Hypoglycemia… Which I was diagnosed with waaaaay back in 2001 after my Gastric Bypass.

Assumed it left the building. Oh no… because you know I just needed yet another Amy Ailment… I truly am becoming my father!!!

So now I’m testing my blood sugar and keeping a diary. It’s only been 4 days and I have no fingers left… With the exception of the right middle finger that’s currently out of commission, the rest of my tips are killing me… LMAO!

Anyhoo, I’m good, for now. I see the #CardioGod Dr. Hamed Aryafar on Wednesday for my Interventional Radiology Post-op. I’ll blog then.

 

 

1st Post-op Ultrasound!

All went well. My “little nugget” is placed “Patent TIPS Placement” – whatever the heck that means….

On the 24th, I’ll see Dr. Hamed Aryafar for results and how the surgery on January 28th, went. So I’ll post a blog after that appointment about all of this.

All is well in Amyland. Taking a few “Amy Days” because I’m sick of myself! LMAO!!! So, I’m going to take a few days vacation and sun, swim and golf! Been awhile since I did, for lack of a better way of saying, ME!

For those of you celebrating the man-made “holiday” (loosely said, adjacent), hope you get what you are deserving of. I know of one person who should get the complete opposite, but I digress.

Shout out to Anna Banana, Richie Rich, Ruthie, Billie, Carolyn, Donna Marie (we have a mutual friend, small world), Father John, Brock, and ALL my friends at The Huddle!

Also a shout out to my buddy, Steve P., and everyone in Pine Valley.
Miss you all MUCH! 

Here’s my “little nugget”, aka “Little Schnitzel” (thanks Steph for the perfect name!), all snug as a bug in a rug! He’s the metal looking one inside my dead liver… WHERES MY FOIE GRAS?? I’m totally gonna wait until they can transplant a duck liver up in here!

Anyhow, love you all,
Amy