Tag Archive | love

This and thaaaaaaaaaat…..

******* January 26, 2017 *******

yeah yeah yeah…

I know, I know. I’m very overdue for this blog. So I think it’s time to update y’all on my Amytastic life….

 

So, I had my first surgery on the right eye for my Graves Disease. Below is the slideshow on all of that….

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I’m having the left eye surgery on the 7th of February. Just around the corner. At Jacobs/Thornton Hospital. I’ll be there overnight, so feel free to check in or visit… Bring food offerings… Hahaha! No, like seriously. I had no food last time because I got out surgery later and I didn’t have the heart to ask Rob to get me food. There’s hardly any food offerings in that section of La Jolla unless you visit the mall… Yeah, no!

Thanksgiving was especially awesome… Excellent food offerings by all three of us.

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As for Christmas, we were sad to not attend my amazing Godparents dinner because I was Looking a bit GOONIESish!

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I made the exact dinner my beautiful and hardworking Godmother Angela made for the family tasty!

New Years was even better. It’s been awhile since I’ve had a kiss at midnight…

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And so that leads us to today. Sitting a Shiley. Pre-op stuff. The best thing is…  We get to spend the night with my favorite BFFs and brothers from excellent and beloved mothers, Robbie and Gregg. And I get to see FINNIE!! I’m just now getting into Prim’s inner circle. She’s slept on the guest bed with me and STAYED!! I’m flabbergasted! She finally lets me walk her and pet her and even pick her up and hold her. Making moves there!

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So so that’s my life in a nutshell since the last time I updated!

…. And if you are Aunt Judy’s (my dads first wife) husband…. A BIG HUGE SHOUT OUT to you for keeping up with my crazy!

 

 

 

1 Year. Humbled.

(As spoken at today’s meeting. March 15, 2016 – Noon.

The Huddle on Goldfinch, San Diego, CA)

  • Thank you Anna… There is no one better to have done this today. Your guidance has shaped me. Any time I had questions, needed a reading, needed advice… You are always there. You are one of the most kindest, gentle and extraordinary people I am honored to call my “person”.
  • Mom, Sitsi Angela and Parino Joe… I just can’t make amends enough..
  • Mitch, you saved my life. #BestPrivateNurseEVER!!!
  • My family. You are #Everything!

It’s not as rare anymore, being rather speechless, but I really, honestly, have nothing to say…

Except, I will say this, Humbly. To everyone here at The Huddle and those not able to be at this meeting..

Your support and love, all of the things I have done this past year. I didn’t know I needed all that support until I truly realized I needed it. If you call upon, the answers will make themselves known.

It’s not just my sobriety.

All of you have helped me accept my new journey, my life diagnosis. You have taught me how to not avoid. How to define avoidance and what it means to have acceptance and freedom from avoidance. And friendship. True, real, friendships. New and  old.

And when I have or have tried, you helped me change that defect. You all hold me accountable. I have learned to replace the negative with positivity.

I am forever grateful and truly humbled. From then, now and the future. God Bless you all, I love you.

With deep humility in my heart and soul,

Amy

P. S., See, I told you Dr. Michel Mendler, Dr. Alexander Kuo, Dr. Sathya Pokala, Dr. Irine Vodkin, Dr. Yuko Kono, Dr. Albert Ding, Dr. Joshua Rubin, Dr. Sheri Rosen, and especially my Psychiatrist, Dr. Kurtis Linderman (feel very sorry and please pray for this kind man for listening to my malaise) and all the many nurses (especially you, Joanie Salotti – knock knock… I’m talking ’bout you Joanie… We have some pickle to eat!!) and support staff at Grossmont and my beloved UCSD Hepatology and Liver Transplant Departments. I did it and will continue to do so! #LifeChange #NeverStopWorking

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My Georgie the Tortie Can Mangia!

Check him out, chomping his food…

I’m Lonely… It’s Time…

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I’m lonely.

It’s time.

Requirements:

  • Not Too Big – big enough that they go outside – big dogs do business outside, but not too big he will take over my bed
  • no yip yippers that piss all over my house (aka, useless dogs!)
  • Short Hair
  • Big floppy feet (think bullie, lab, etc etc)
  • A lover and an angel – I like to love on my babies
  • Likes other dogs
  • Likes to run/hike but won’t run-off
  • MALE/Neutered
  • Not a Blue or Max replacement

Know of anything that will fulfill my loneliness? Please contact Mitch via EMail or on Mitch’s Facebook

And shhhhh…. don’t tell my Godmother!!!

 

 

UPDATED!!!!! My TIPS Video/AA Birthday & I’m stuck on the 10th step!

So I had my appointment with #TheCardioGod Dr. Hamed Aryafar today. The heavens opened up when he walked in the room.. (You will see this when viewing the video I will add in this place when it finishes uploading…)

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It was, as usual, extremely informative and life-altering! I was told about what to expect, whether I can still drive, among other things. All in all, a positive result.

 

I then went to #TheHuddle to my home group (#AA) and lead today’s meeting. I haven’t been able to have this grateful task in a while due to me usually having to leave a bit early due to a doctors appointment and/or liver transplant support group. For this day, I am honored and humbled. I spoke of matters of the heart and understanding in the program. By matters of the heart, I don’t mean love and men or women, etc., I meant love and understand of all things while working the program. 

Ironically, this leads me to the 10th Step, with which I have found myself stuck on… 

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Chapter Ten, page 92, states:

  • Such a radical change in our outlook will take time, maybe a lot of time. Not many people can truthfully assert that they love everybody. Most of us must admit that we have loved but a few; that we have been quite indifferent to the many so long as none of them gave us trouble; and as for the remainder—well, we have really disliked or hated them.
  • Although these attitudes are common enough, we A.A.’s nd we need something much better in order to keep our balance.
  • We can’t stand it if we hate deeply. The idea that we can be possessively loving of a few, can ignore the many, and can continue to fear or hate anybody, has to be abandoned, if only a little at a time.
  • We can try to stop making unreasonable demands upon those we love. We can show kindness where we had shown none. With those we dislike we can begin to practice justice and courtesy, perhaps going out of our way to understand and help them. Whenever we fail any of these people, we can promptly admit it—to ourselves always, and to them also, when the admission would be helpful.
  • Courtesy, kindness, justice, and love are the keynotes by which we may come into harmony with practically anybody. When in doubt we can always pause, saying, “Not my will, but Thine, be done.” And we can often ask ourselves, “Am I doing to others as I would have them do to me—today?”

And continues, “Understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our entire lifetime. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these pop up in our lives, we ask God to immediately remove them. We discuss them with our Sponsor or Friend in AA and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code.”

So when one of my character defects appears during the day, I don’t have to take action based on that defect. I can begin to practice the 10th Step. And if I do act out on a defect, then Step 10 also gives me the tools to straighten out any harm I might have caused. Once we’ve gone through the process of spotting the defect, asking God to remove it, discussing the problem with someone if necessary, and making amends if we’ve caused a harm the book tells me now to turn my thoughts towards someone that I can be helpful towards. After all, the book does say:

“Love and tolerance of others is our code.”

This takes lots of practice but with God’s help and guidance, it can be done if we work at it. #WorkWorkWork

So, today was pretty incredible. I arrived to my meeting, early, and sat with Brock and Anna and caught up on their lives. We also discussed the cake I’ll be ordering from Costco for my 1 year birthday! Because, who doesn’t love #CostcoCake? Please consider attending on March 15th at noon at The Huddle on Goldfinch, if not for the camaraderie and fellowship, but hello…. CAKE!!

Quick #Assholio update… Status: NIL… #CUT

So I’ve been doing a lot of Big Book reading lately, and have begun to realize that there are new flaws I must work on in my life going into my 2nd year of #sobriety:

  • Transformation
  • Tolerance
  • Feeling “just ordinary” or “unheard” and the need to also be too vocal

Some of these new things, ok, all of them, were rather blatantly unseen by myself – of myself.

You see, we all have flaws. But it is how you choose to handle and deal with them is what makes the difference.

Anna brought up #Transformation with me due to all the changes I have made in my health, life and love. This will be next on my agenda to dig deeper into. I believe that for transformation, I must have #tolerance and #respect for others thoughts and feelings as well as keeping abreast of my own, equally.

So wow, yeah, that was windy! So, I must sign off and get that video uploaded.. Therefore…

#Bygones,

Amy aka #MotorMouth 

 

Falling In

This poetry came from one of my followers, and I follow him. It’s a beautful poem to read…

“Falling 

Initial warmth travelled Between our new bodies A prelude to a spark Igniting a wick Softening the wax, now Circulating as reddened lava Through my body. 

We have lit a flicker The pilot light of us In Your voice is a fire And your skin’s temperature A soft friction of sparks Memorized and ablaze […]”

http://tricksterchase.com/2016/01/25/falling-in/

A few odds and odders….

I was going through some of my cloud with the photos from all the testing and procedures that went into my pre-transplant workups.

So I thought I’d get them all uploaded and share them with you all.

Bare with me as I’m having technical difficulties with my iPad app, but God willing, they will all be up and in the sidebar Gallery soon!!!

In the meantime, here’s a few I might not have shared… #RealLifeShit #DontLetThisHappenToYou

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The above are the papers to which I signed my life away…. Serious stuff huh???

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This was hysterical… Sent it to Gary… Because. I’m mean. LMAO!!

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Hey girls, check out that computer… Hahaha!

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Cute huh??? I get to have him again January 14th!!! I’m kinda excited… Shhh.. Don’t tell boyfriend… J/K (or am I?)

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Marietta, my beloved nurse going on 9 months now!!!

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No sooner did I buy the above cute neck massager, did Ozzie think it was a new toy….

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And this is what is stuck in your body if you retain a boat load of water… Aka Aceities!

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I’ve had this awesome jewelry piece for 10 months now!!!

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Because I’m hysterical on hospital questionnaires!

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My home…

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Dad’s former home… It’s right next door to my new one!!! #Memories #Life #Survivor

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My beautiful heart!

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UCSD Hillcrest Medical Center, where I’ll be hanging my hat and calling home going forward!!

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The above are random outtakes!!

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The amazing, a little rough around the edges blunt but a total pussy kitty, Dr. Michel Mendler.

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Dr. Yuko Kono, my heptologist who along with Dr. Michel Mendler, gave me the tools to climb out of my first few holes I dug for myself. They have saved my life!

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My overworked Psychiatrist, Dr. Linderman.

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My saviour, Dr. Irine Vodka, ahem, Vodkin! I tend to mistakenly call her that… And no, vodka was definitely not my drink of choice. Ha-ha!

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Just a bunch of random procedure photos and I threw in some cute ones of yours truly… Because… Vain.

Ha!

Enjoy..

Ciao,
Amy